As the World Turns

As a PoliSci major, news was once an imperative part of my life but, much like Dan Bern, I gave up watching the news and reading the papers and knowing the names of the hip people several years ago. Unlike Dan Bern it's never really made me feel out of touch. Now that I am literally out of touch, I have begun listening to and watching the news again. What a soap opera. Don't get me wrong, I am amused, entertained, even awestruck but it can be dizzying.

How amazing was it to witness the head of CSIS accuse certain politicians of being vehicles of foreign interference yesterday? For me it comes in a close second in my list of most (probably only) memorable TV watching moments to Paul Martin's disastrous proclamation that he would invoke the notwithstanding clause to prevent health care reform, killing any hope of finally becoming prime minister in less time than it takes to say "Don't f*ck with my constitution".

Breathtaking. Mind boggling. But there it was again yesterday. An otherwise intelligent man announcing on TV, things that even a child would know should never be uttered out loud, even in whispers to a priest. Moments like these lend complete credence to conspiracy theorists. Otherwise how could they commit such hubris, if not as puppets playing (poorly written) parts of a much larger scheme?

Even more fun is watching the media and pundits scramble today to try to find a plausible explanation. Allow me: Occam's razor tells us there can only be one two word answer: Knights Templar.

Then there's the tornadoes, earthquakes and floods lending credence to apocalypse theorists.

And the Transcona beavers lending further evidence to my rodent revolt theory. I don't think that's the end of it.

Any of it.

(Cue camera zoom in for close up...)