Parlour Games

Apparently this was Proust's favourite parlour game. I can see why, I mean I had no idea I even had a favourite bird until I played this. If rain is keeping you inside today too make some tea and play along. Just copy and paste the questions into the comment section or, if you're shy, e-mail me your answers. But really there's no need to be shy. Despite evidence to the contrary, I won't judge you. These are profoundly important questions I want to know your answers to.

What is your dream of happiness?
I’m living it. I mean, I have problems and things I have to work on but that’s all part of it I think. And, in the meantime, I eat good food, I drink good wine, I get enough exercise and, most days, I have clean underwear. I have people in my life who love me, challenge me, inspire me and/or make me laugh. It’s kind of impossible not to be happy.

What is your idea of misery?
Living in a QualiCo home inside a gated community and driving a mini van full of kids around suburbia.

Where would you like to live?
Wherever I land as long as I have the option to leave.

What qualities do you admire most in a man?
Self-sufficiency, dependability, intelligence, menschness

What qualities do you admire most in a woman?
Independence, graciousness, intelligence, muchness

What is your chief characteristic?
Neuroticism, I think. Possibly just plain crazy but I think most of my crazy stems from my neuroses? Does that make me a bad person? Is that why I’m unlovable? Am I unlovable? Oh my... yeah, mostly I’m just neurotic. But I’m cuddly too.

What is your principal fault?
I am fantsastically impatient. As my mother says, “ You do not suffer fools gladly.” Unfortunately for me, I am also often a fool.


What is your greatest extravagance?
Gluten free food. I think I spend more annually on specialty flours than the GDP for a small nation.

What faults in others are you most tolerant of?
Addictions

What do you value most about your friends?
Conversation and hugs.

What characteristic do you dislike most in others?
Insincerity, sucking up to authority and general phoniness. How Holden Caulfield is that?

What characteristic do you dislike most in yourself?
My lack of patience and my propensity to be judgemental, even of people I’ve never met or know nothing about except that their highlights look ridiculous and they can’t be serious about that outfit. I can go on like that for hours in a day before it suddenly dawns on me "Just who exactly do I think I am?"

What is your favourite virtue?
Honesty. It’s important to maintaining one’s integrity but it’s also quite likely to get you into trouble which makes it interesting

What is your favourite occupation? Librarian, but Koebler elf comes in a close second

What would you like to be? An air race pilot but being me comes in a close second

What is your favourite colour?
Blue. But if the entire world were blue I would really miss red. And black and white and yellow. Maybe some shades of green. But purple is definitely superfluous. Unless lilacs wouldn’t smell like lilacs if they were yellow, in which case I’d vote to keep purple too.

What is your favourite flower?
Daisies. And lilacs, and water lilies.

What is your favourite bird?
Snipe. Or maybe penguins but I think I was brainwashed by “March of the Penguins”. You know how Hollywood makes everything seem much better than it is. I’m sure if I actually had to live with a penguin I’d probably find it annoying.

What historical figure do you admire the most?
How historical are we talking? Is Nelson Mandela historical? Trudeau? I also really admire WWII veterans.

What character in history do you most dislike?
Jesus. I know that sounds horrible and I want to go on record as saying I generally support his philosophy. He just strikes me as being somewhat sanctimonious and not much fun, you know? Someone I wouldn't want to be stuck alone in a corner with at a party.


Who are your favourite prose authors?
Robertson Davies, Tom Robbins, Rohinton Mistry to name a few

Who are your favourite poets?
Bukowski, Charles Wright, Leonard Cohen, Acorn to name a few

Who are your favourite heroes in fiction? Alice, Atticus, the narrator in "A Complicated Kindness" whose name escapes me at the moment. Actually, without my library to jog my memory I’m at a bit of a loss with these literary questions.

Who are your real life heroes?

 Doris Haddock, my Great Grandma, several of my high school teachers


Who is your favourite painter?
Dali

Who is your favourite musician?
My brother

What is your favourite food?
It’s cliche but pizza

What is your favourite drink?
Water, chai or wine

What are your favourite names?
I had a lover once who wanted to have a baby so we could name it Gallipolli. I managed to talk him into a dog instead but we ended before we found one. I still love that name though. I also tend to like Jewish names like Mordechai and Moishe.

What is it you most dislike?
People who fixate on the negative, people who are greedy/cruel/mean and mushrooms (unless they're magic). Not equally of course. I’d sooner eat mushrooms than see someone being belittled or oppressed by someone.

What natural talent would you most like to possess?
I wish I was funnier. I feel sort of elitist having all these inside jokes with myself.

How do you want to die?
Quickly and not in a hospital or nursing home or anyplace even vaguely institutional.

What is your current state of mind?
Tired

What do you consider your greatest accomplishment?
Not yet.

What is your motto? You won't know until you try/ask and it's better to know than speculate.