Things You Should Know By Your 35th Year (Or How I Learned That I Still Don't Know Anything)

1) How to Breathe: I am trying to quit smoking for the second time. It's easier this time, but it's still hard.

2) How to Smile: Even though your heart is breaking. Even though it's broken.

3) How to tell a Joke: "Ms. What's the password"
                                "What?"
                                "Exactly"

4) How to Kiss a Sailor: The same way you kiss a pilot only you ought to curse when you come up for air.

5) How to Love: Ask me in another decade.